Burger Club NY: Veselka

Preface: I am pretty positive that I am a straight woman. So it is with absolute bewilderment that I have found myself checking out other women’s cleavage. Usually, this eye flow occurs with v-necks and/or other busty cuts. I explain this to Roger in the back of Veselka over an oval-shaped plate of fries. The more aware of this I become, the more I can’t stop. Roger sympathizes. While we are both looking down at the menu for a last minute check for certain sides and cheeses for our burgers, our waitress comes to take our order. Both of our heads still bowed, we answer, only looking up to smile and say thanks, when exactly on eye level, we are met with the largest breasts that we have ever seen in our adult waking life. For creepiness factor alone, I don’t want to describe them in great detail. But to get my point across, if I were to compare to a fruit, I’d say watermelons that grew in the days of the dinosaur, assuming that watermelons, if in existence, were also larger back then. From our seated vantage point, it was hard to avoid the watermelons. And if we wanted to chat with her, which we did, we’d have to look up and over them, while trying to not acknowledge that this is what we were indeed doing. She, gregarious and lovely, patiently answered all of our questions as we sputtered them out, while kicking each other under the table.

The burger: Due to various distractions, I don’t really remember the burger well enough to do it justice. There were sesame seeds on both sides of the bun, which was almost as exciting as finding a forgotten twenty-dollar bill in your pocket. The meat, a substantial eight ounces, is charbroiled and pretty accurately cooked. (e.g. If you want rare, you’ll get rare; same for medium, etc.) Anna rates:

Bex:

This is the second time I've tried the Veselka burger. The first time I didn't specify how I wanted it cooked and it came out well done and very dry which made the whole burger boring and not very tasty. The second time I asked for it cooked medium and it came out juicy and flavorful but more like medium rare, which is fine.

I love the abundance of sesame seeds on the toasted buns although mid-way through eating my bun was red and soggy. The cheddar was well melted and the tomato and lettuce on the side were fresh. Pretty good burger. No thanks on the coleslaw, but the fries rocked!

Bex rates:

Roger:

I tried to get the table they sat at in Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist but sadly it was taken. I know, not quite as famous as the table at Katz's deli but it was worth a try. Sooo..this burger looks good when it arrives but about halfway through it I got bored. The bun was too much. A little too fancy pants for my taste and personally I'm not a sesame seed fan. I don't understand the point. They seem like they only serve the purpose of decoration. Also the meat was too soft, kinda like meatloaf. But I think Veselka is open 24 hours. So as late night options go, like in Nick and Nora, it ain't that bad. A good place to grab better than average burger and shoot the shit. Maybe that's why me and Anna started talking about the waitress. Btw I have to disagree with Anna on the "watermelon" situation. Come on Anna you make it sound like we were at a strip club. Hmm, do they have burger specials at Score's?

Roger rates: